mlia pt. 2

Today, I got a call from a woman asking me to pretend to be Harry Potter for her daughter over the phone. Apparently, the little girl who's now living in my old house had been reading in the closet under the stairs, just like I used to to, when she found engraved on the wall "The Boy Who Lived was Here." I laughed, remembering doing that when I was 11. She wouldn't leave her mother alone until she got Harry Potter's new number. So instead of studying for finals, I spent the next hour reciting unwritten tales of Hogwarts in a british accent. Merry Christmas, Becca. I can't wait till you find the secret compartment with the twenty and the magic wand. MLIA


Today at work a friend took a handful of Hershey Kisses and rubbed them all over me, proclaiming he was smoothering me with kisses. MLIA


Today, my 85 year old grandma beat me at Halo 3. MLIA


Today, I found a wi-fi called "The Fat Lady". Password? Caput Draconis? Yes. Thank you, vast knowledge of Harry Potter. MLIA


Today I had Mac n' Cheese for lunch. Instead of the normal elbow shaped pasta, I had Scooby Doo Mac n' Cheese. It took me about half an hour longer than usual to eat because I had to inspect each individual piece of pasta to see who I was eating. It also tasted 10 times better than usual. MLIA


Today, I was at my locker and was running extremely late for class. After about ten failed attempts at opening it, I frustratedly yelled "ALOHAMORA!" at it. Just then, a burly jock came sprinting out of nowhere and rammed into my locker. He punched it swiftly in the center, and the locker door came swinging open. He ran off in the same direction that he came. MLIA.


Tonight a Viagra commercial came on while my little brother was in the room. My mom asked after the commercial if he knew what sex was. His answer "Yes, remember when I had a stuffed rhino and wanted to name him Horny and you wouldn't let me? And then you told me why?" Look on my mom's face - priceless. MLIA


Last night I was cooking with my dad's girlfriend so we could "bond". I put a dirty fork on top of another one so there would be less to clean up. When my dad's girlfriend saw this, she burst into laughter. I asked her what was so funny. She said through her bursts of laughter, "THE FORKS ARE SPOONING!!!" MLIA.


I was at work the other day and I decided to be goofy and go up behind one of my coworkers and said in my best gingerbread man voice "DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN?!" I then heard a customer yell from the back of the dining room "THE MUFFIN MAN?!" we ended up quoting that entire scene from Shrek, immediately afterward I went to the dining room and gave the dude a high five. WIN mr. customer WIN. MLIA


Today, I asked my grandparents what my cousins wanted from Santa for Christmas. He told me that my oldest cousin(9) wanted tiny ninjas and rubber bands. My youngest cousin(7) said he wanted Santa to make him part leprechaun, so he could be magically delicious. I always knew he was my favorite.


Today when my mom came home from work, she brought me this small container filled with Cotton Candy. The box had a cute snowman on it, with white cotton candy inside. The Cotton Candy was called "Fun Sweets." It had a smile guarantee, meaning that when you taste their cotton candy, your guaranteed to smile...But then I noticed a Disclaimer below it. The disclaimer said: DISCLAIMER: The Fun Sweets smile guarantee applies to a typically pleasant individual. If you are a major grouch that doesn't even smile at a puppy or a rainbow, then even WE can't help you. I smiled. MLIA